Surprise! Goals, not Promises.

I just couldn’t wait for Monday to get started, so here we go!

I was washing Aurora’s hair yesterday and she made me laugh. I was trying to get her to stay still and let me pour water on her head.

Photo by Anthony on Pexels.com

“I have to clean you, child! It is my job!”

“Hahaha mommy. That not you job!”

“Yes it is!”

“You job is cleaning the kitchen!”

Oofa doofa, that kitchen will be the death of me, for sure. I kept pushing and eventually she was clean and it was time to rinse the conditioner out of her hair. This time I aimed wrong and water spilled into her face. This was an unforgivable crime. Rory buried her soaking wet head into my shirt and wailed “Your job! Your job!” Thankfully she recovered quickly and I was not fired from my post as Mommy.

I of course felt bad because I promised her that I wouldn’t get water in her face. I don’t control the flow of water, though. What was I thinking making that promise? It is what we do, though. We make promises when we should be setting goals. When I sat down to write this post I wanted to promise you what you would find here. I’m not going to do that. I am just going to tell you some of my goals, and I will strive to not let you or myself down.

I want to be a good person. As an adult I have strived to educate myself, to open my mind, to open my arms. I have worked hard to accept that my opinions on how to be a good parent or person just don’t work for everyone. I do tend to draw the line where I find the question to be one of morality, but in 2020, who can blame me?

As we settle in to get to know each other I want to make sure to open the door to feedback. Especially if you are in a marginalized group, if I say or do something offensive please speak up. I will learn and I will change. I also will not put the weight on my readers to educate me. I will continue to listen to voices of colour and neurodiversity. We will get better together.

Of course, I assume the place where I will miss the mark most will be discussing autism. I try not to refer to myself as an “Autism mom” but it is an easy shorthand. Much in the way that Ryan being autistic affects every aspect of his life, it also affects every aspect of the parenting choices I make – from the type of socks I buy to the schools he attends. I will do the typical autism mom post about coming to terms with the diagnosis. Not because I think that it is some sort of prison sentence, but because I want parents to know that it is ok to feel your feelings, as long as you get back up and go back to supporting your child.

You won’t see a puzzle piece on my page. We prefer the infinity symbol to celebrate Autistic Pride. I will (hopefully) never post a picture created by Autism Speaks, nor will I support them. I have no interest in “curing” my boy. My goals for him include helping him feel confident being himself and allowing him to live a full life, which includes fighting for Autistic acceptance in the workforce.

I will mention now and then my own curiosity about late diagnosis for autism. The older I get, and the more I learn about this spectrum, the more I realize that I display more than a few autistic traits. That being said, I also understand that every autistic person experiences their autism differently so when I am discussing a trait that I see in my children or myself I am not suggesting it is the same for everyone.

Lastly, on the autism front, I will not post a video of Ryan in meltdown mode, nor will I share very many details about what happens when he is in meltdown. It feels deeply personal as that is when my Lion is least able to control himself. He does love making videos of himself, including videos of himself stimming. I may share those because my cuties are the cutest.

I promise not to be full of doom and gloom. I absolutely love my life. I am an optimistic person, and in my opinion, I am mildly amusing at times. Some days I will post a harsh truth about what I have survived to get where I am, or ways that the world is failing the people who need help the most. I will also no doubt share stories of Ryan “swimming” though our local stores, or Aurora’s insistence that “Chocolate is real food! Bechables are junk!” My life is filled with daily doses of pure joy, and I promise to share those with you.

I’ll see you Monday!

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